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Jun 20, 2012
@ 10:59 am
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#AstrosMMP is the New #GoDBacks

Gosh…It sure must’ve seemed like such a good idea.  A tweet arrived around 5:30 PM yesterday from Astros beat writer Zachary Levine to inform us all of a new feature for home games at Minute Made Park. Had the Astros Front Office not heard of the whole #GoDBacks thing the Arizona Diamondbacks did a couple of months back?  

As you might’ve guessed, a lot of people (including myself) suddenly turned in to 10 year old boys again.  Here’s the best of the worst—with most never making it to the big scoreboard—from last night.    

@zachmayer14 Enjoy watching Hunter Pe… Lance Berk… Roy Osw… Michael Bo… Craig Big… Jeff Bagw… Carlos Lee. #AstrosMMP

@John_Royal And you thought Kaz Matsui was bad, Bill Hall. #AstrosMMP

@houcounterplot Why does my wife smell like bacon grease and why does my child look like Carlos Lee? #AstrosMMP

@danolaurel Jim in section 308, you aren’t here to watch a baseball game. We want to talk to you about your drinking. #AstrosMMP

@yokorick Have you seen Marley and Me yet? No? Well, the dog dies… #AstrosMMP

@kevinbassstache Craig James didn’t kill five hookers. He killed six. #AstrosMMP

@PSKolaches Really disappointed in the “Coke porch” you guys. Embarrassed, Dude who scalped me these seats lied, also is not 80’s night #AstrosMMP

@RoyalesWCheese Rodriguez’s first name Wandy also happens to be the most common nickname that magicians give their penises. #AstrosMMP

@MKsmn515 I heard Jimmy Hoffa and Roger Clemens’ roid needles are buried under the hill in centerfield #AstrosMMP

@cowboycane The roof at Minute Maid Park is powered by trained dolphins #AstrosMMP

@houcounterplot Voting for Obama? Romney? Neither? Its a GREAT night to share your political beliefs! Also, mini-bats are $4 at the team store! #AstrosMMP

@AstrosCounty Ed Wade has me in a holding cell, giving me asparagus, and petting me, saying, “You’re a Phillie now…shhhh” #AstrosMMP

@spencerleeder I met my wife on http://www.blackpeoplemeet.com. #AstrosMMP

@houcounterplot Yeah, I’ve been to prison. So what? #AstrosMMP

@mferrier31 Have you ever imagined Betty White naked? #AstrosMMP

@RBBonner_ What’s the best way to hide a dead body #AstrosMMP

and finally…

@temiller72 Ed Wade has diarrhea #AstrosMMP

Many years from now an elderly man will sit on the front porch of his house with his two Grandkids nearby.  A twinkle in his eye will appear and he’ll ask, “Did I ever tell you about the time I tweeted 'I'm just here for the Jesus music ' and it showed up on the big scoreboard at Minute Made Park??” And the kids will respond, “Yes Grandpa! Can we go to the mall now and see High School Musical 87, please!?!”

Thank you, Astros, for giving us something to remember this utterly forgettable 2012 season by.